Nice Work if You Can Get it

There’s a new craze sweeping our office. Perhaps you’re already hoisting a banner on your own local bandwagon. As with most new things, I am a late adopter, being ever so un-hip. I like to come in just after things hit their peak, when the trend is waning and exhibiting the beginning of death throes. Still, I am throwing myself into this one wholeheartedly. Or at least, as I do, intermittently wholeheartedly. You know, when I can be bothered.

For the past six months or so we have been hearing over and over again that our department is being restructured, our job roles will be changing. We’ve also been privy to a wide range of implications and suggestions about whether we will all even still have roles (jobs, that is) and even blatant assertions that some of us will be unhappy with the changes. In spite of what were undoubtedly the best intentions of our higher ups, this has amazingly had a quite negative effect on the work habits, attitude, and morale of the troops.

And so it ensues… The name of the game these days is do as little as is feasible over the course of the day, which many have industriously shortened to as little as six hours. Which is, after all, really more efficient and shows acute resourcefulness. Why string out a day of not-working to eight or nine hours when you can get just as little done in fewer hours?

While at work, it takes a surprising amount of ingenuity to find things other than work to fill the day. This is sometimes made even more difficult by the non-team players who might actually want you to do some work. They have a very selfish way of interrupting you when you’re playing Halo or expecting you to actually attend the meeting that you arranged.

Yes indeed, it’s hard work not working. I mean, anyone can not work, but to do so without suffering immense boredom is no mean feat. Some are bound to fail. Some will get railroaded into actually completing projects. Some will fall victim to that widespread modern-day office malaise, namely staring into space, drooling in front of their monitors. Others will aimlessly wander the paths of the Internet, trolling for tidbits of even modest appeal and feigning more interest than is in fact warranted by the “information” they uncover. But a valiant few will prevail and fill their hours with amusing coffee breaks, exciting game-playing sessions, incessant instant messaging, l-o-n-g lunches, and even the occasional bout of sport and exercise. Not a very lofty goal? Perhaps not, but in these days of rampant disillusionment and passionate cynicism, we all must do our part.