Scout v Angie

It's a classic showdown. It's up there with chocolate versus vanilla and good versus evil. And while I do pick sides in both of the former, I am actually perhaps one of the few who don't have a preference when it comes to cats and dogs. I like them both, what's not to like? But this weekend at my place there is going to be a showdown of potentially epic proportions. Yes, friends, prepare yourself for Scout v Angie.

In one corner, we have Scout. With the at-home advantage, Scout promises to be a strong contender, possibly even the favorite. Weighing in at an estimated 25+ pounds of solid feline flab, his primary strategy involves looking as B-I-G as possible (enhanced by his enormously fluffy Ragdoll coat and bigger-than-life bad attitude) and utilizing his low, throaty growl to intimidate his opponent. His signature move is flopping over on one side and flicking his tail in an overt "don't F with me" gesture, all while apparently disdaining to even notice that his rival is in the house. Watch for him to move slowly, and only as a last resort. Hampered by his less-than-svelte physique and an old kitten injury to one of his paws, he is unable to perform eveb the most basic defensive maneuvers, namely jumping onto countertops (in fact, he can barely make it as high as the ottoman, and only achieves that lofty purchase by sinking his sharp claws into the leather and limping his ample back half on board).

Scout, in slimmer days, hiding in the blinds.

In the opposite corner we have Angie. This visiting young contender from Julie-Anne's condo in San Mateo is small and agile, but seriously outweighed by her opponent. Angie's game is more jaunty finesse than fight, and we can look for her to employ tactics that play on her cuteness: wagging her long, feathery tail, prancing on her out-turned ballerina/pigeon-toed paws, and emitting a high-pitched whine that promises no resistance and begs for mercy. With a fierce under bite, a penchant for playing with her food, and a nasty habit of peeing when she gets over-excited, Angie is sure to bring an entertaining aspect to the matchup, whatever the outcome. Some have said that Angie is not a "real" dog, but this weekend will be her opportunity to play out that quintessential dog versus cat faceoff and make a stand of which all of her fellow canines can be proud.

Angie, camouflaged in Autumn

Stick around to see how the animal antics play out! Or let me know where you fall in the dog versus cat debate...

Thanks for asking

It’s like this. I work with this guy. He’s probably a nice guy. But he’s a bit (ahem) tedious. Not a bad guy, but just a bit boring. I can usually muster up some fake extrovertish qualities and make conversation for a certain amount of time without much fuss… But I can only really do that for so long before I start contemplating all of the ways that I can potentially avoid continuing the conversation or, god forbid, ever having to repeat it again. But as I said, I work with this guy. And he had a project that I offered to help on. I would have been happy to help on. But really he didn’t want my help. He just wanted me to go to lunch. Again and again and again.

Lunch would have been okay, if we were just there to discuss the project and get on with the work and cordially ingest some food. But really we didn’t talk about the project at all. In actuality we had rather stilted conversations about “what I like to do in my spare time” and other blind-date-like questions of that sort. Pain. Full. (not to mention not a great digestive aid!)

So what do you do when trying to duck someone’s advances? I’ve decided to start thinking creatively about it after Jo offered this helpful advice today:

“Set up a rule in Outlook. When he mails you, he gets an auto-response: Sorry, Jessica has died…”

Needless to say this is brilliant. I may not do it, but just thinking about it somehow makes my day feel a bit brighter.

Unfortunately, Jessica contracted swine flu and has died. While she would undoubtedly have loved to join you for lunch/edit your copy/grab a coffee/etc., regrettably she is now unable to accept your generous invitation. Thank you for your email and have a nice day.